Threesome
by blankdreamer
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke have be disappearing for a whole weak. And they come back disoriented. Then one day Naruto asks Sakura a disturbing question "Wanna threesome?" She would have fainted. M for implied things. SasuSaku NaruHina NejiTen ShikaIno


**Okay… Yet another one-shot! YAY! Okay really I'm just really sick and really bored. -Coughs then chokes- "OW! Can't breathe!"**

**Anyway… Here you go!**

**Threesome**

Just another day in the Konoha's teen street. The teens were playing around and sparring.

"Neji catch!" Tenten shouted throwing a kunai at him. Being the lazy ass, he rather waste chakra than to actually catch it.

"Kaiten!" He swirled around with a blue swirl of chakra surrounding him. The one kunai was deflected.

Tenten sweat dropped. "You could have just caught that!" she shouted.

"I know." He replied stoically.

"Then why?"

_I like to show off… _He thought. But responded with a light shrug.

"Way to waste your chakra, white eyes." Ino snickered flipping and brushing her long, silky blonde hair. Hinata coughed. "No offense Hinata."

"None taken." Hinata whispered. "He always does this." Hinata leaned in closer, and Ino cupped her ear. "Because he likes to show-?"

A kunai was thrown between them. Hinata caught it.

"See Neji? Look how easy that is!" Tenten bonked him on the head.

"That was an excuse to touch him." Hinata whispered quickly. Neji coughed.

"What are you, psychic?" Ino asked. She nodded for her to continue totally believing Hinata's accusions.

"No I just hear them sleep-talking about it." She pointed out. Tenten and Neji rushed to her side and covered her mouth.

"She doesn't know what she's talking about…ehehe… Right Neji?" Tenten shouted.

Neji nodded ferociously. He leaned into her ear and whispered "You don't want people to know about your Naruto secret do you?"

"I think that everybody knows about that secret except him. Sorry to ruin your fantasies Hinata." They turned. "You really have no chance…"

Sakura was there dragging her brothers. Sai and Shikamaru. "This is gay." "How troublesome."

"Sai… you're bi… nothing about anything is gay… just you…" Sakura retorted.

"It's great to know I have an ugly little sister to tell everybody I have no feelings." Sai sighed. He was forced to be a root member, his emotions were stripped form him. The "team he plays on" is still unclear to him. Everyone just thinks he's gay.

"And Shikamaru go and do some jumping jacks or something." Sakura demanded. Shikamaru crawled to Ino and lay down beside her sitting form. Sakura sighed.

"So what's up your ass Forehead?" Ino asked poking Sakura's arm.

"It goes like this…" She started.

[ F L A S H B A C K

I was walking down the street. And I heard my teammates, I smiled. I was going to walk through the bushes and greet them but I heard them conversing…

"What about Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked with his innocent voice.

"What about her?" Sasuke asked ever so monotone.

"Shouldn't we ask her to threesome?" I choked inwardly.

"You asked me… Don't ask other's to join. It'll be a mess."

"Fine, _master!" _Naruto bowed.

Sasuke grabbed his hand, and pulled Naruto to his house.

"I said I'd help you," Sasuke growled "And I'll show you how to good I am."

"Bring it on _Baby!" _Naruto shouted he smiled.

So I did what any other heart-broken girl-who-found-out-her-crush-is-gay would do. I listened outside his window.

"Ow, teme, that fucking hurt!" Naruto screamed.

"It's your fault I missed!" Sasuke breathed out through his teeth.

I couldn't bear to listen to it anymore, so I went home, cried a little, and figured some things out.

The only reason I felt comfortable around Naruto because he is GAY!

The only reason Sasuke showed no interest in me was because he was… GAY!

All my close ones are gay… (Naruto, Sasuke, Sai…)

The world is fucked up… or getting fucked…

Then I… 

[ E N D O F F L A S H B A C K

"I went outside to you guys." Sakura finished.

Expressions found:

Neji was twitching madly… "I will never look at them the same way…"

Tenten was squeezing Neji's until it turned blue… "Uchiha's GAY?!?!"

Ino dropped her comb… "I l-liked a-a GAY BOY?!?!"

Hinata fainted… "Na-naruto-ku-kun is GAY?"

Shikamaru sighed… "They always choose that path."

Sai chuckled… "HA! And Naruto is probably the 'girl' of the relationship."

Sakura nodded. "It's true! I heard them! I'm serious-!"

"What's up guys?" A cheery voice behind them cheered. They turned fast…

It was Naruto and Sasuke. They were sweaty. Their clothes were unkempt. Their pretty little hairs were put of place. Did I mention they were sweaty? Sasuke had an unusually large bruise on his lip too.

Everyone was thinking they same thing…_ Naruto must bite hard… Look at how sweaty they are… How long have they been at it, like 5 days?_

Neji had his eyes closed. _All pretty boys go gay. Don't let peer pressure use you Neji! NEVER!_

"So… Naruto… What's with the just-done-with-sex jag?" Ino asked slightly talking a step back.

Naruto and Sasuke were totally oblivious to the whole thing, and Naruto shouted, "I won!" Evidently the others caught the "jag."

"Dobe, you suck." Sasuke spat.

"His penis." Sai whispered. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, Naruto was talking to Hinata, who was laughing uneasily while backing away, Neji and Tenten were stifling their laughs, Ino and Sakura were blushing (Because Sai is so much of a dense idiot to actually say that) and Shikamaru was face down in the grass trying not to laugh.

"Sasuke why do you have a bruise?" Sakura asked touching his lip. He blushed. _Is he really gay or is he blushing thinking about a while ago?_

"Oh. Could you heal it?" Sasuke asked in a low voice. It really wasn't a question more like a command.

"Okay." She said. A light green chakra covered her hand. She put it over his lip. It was healed in a snap.

"Thanks." He mumbled "I have to go home, I'm tired." He waved and left.

"Ditto." Naruto left for home as well.

The teens stood there agape.

"The hell…" Ino mumbled.

"They… are gay!" Tenten exclaimed.

"I will never doubt you again, Sakura." Shikamaru stated, scratching his confused head.

"Yeah…" Neji confirmed shaking his head.

"Okay… I'm going home… investigation will start tomorrow!" Sakura cheered pumping her fists in the air.

So they went home. Night passed and they were all outside waiting for Sakura.

"Let's go listen to the conversation people." She instructed.

It was the same as yesterday… except this time Naruto asked to threesome with Hinata instead. Of course she fainted, he may be gay but he has this grip in Hinata I guess.

They followed them out side the window and listened into the conversation.

"Okay, teme, let's do this." Obviously it was Naruto.

"First what level do you want?" Sasuke grunted.

"Hard, I like hardcore."

After a couple of minutes…

"Ow! Teme! I fell off the bed."

"Well I'm sorry you are so inexperienced."

At that moment Hinata fainted again and we moved away from the window. See guys I told you.

Weird noises started coming out of that house. Like various grunts, squeals, and just plain disturbing moans.

They came out in the same look or "jag" as last time.

So basically this is happening over a course of a week until one strange ass day…

"SAKURA-CHAN! COME HERE!" Naruto hollered from across the street. Sakura walks over cautiously.

"What do you need Naruto?" _**a condom? **__Ha ha very funny. _She asked inwardly laughing.

"For the past week I was wondering…" _How to tell us he's gay? __**Probably it's hard!**_

But Naruto question hit Sakura even Harder. "Sakura-chan… Wanna threesome?" 

She would have fainted but she didn't. So instead she just stuttered, "O-ok-kay…"

Naruto lead her to Sasuke's house. She gulped when she was lead to his room. The first thing she saw was Sasuke. He was lying down on the bed. Shirtless.

"Better take this off. I'm going to be sweaty!" Naruto yelled. He yanked off his shirt and sat next to Sasuke on the bed. "Let's get this started.

Sakura was confused, dazed and horrified. She shut her eyes. She waited for a sign. All she got was a beep noise.

Slowly she opens one eye. She looks at the TV. In bold words it says WII TENNIS. What the hell? Sasuke holds out a wiimote to Sakura.

"Naruto asked you to come over and play right?" he asked.

Sakura took it. "Is this what you've been doing the past week?" She asked. She was really confused now.

"Duh. This is how I got that bruise. That idiot hit me with the wiimote. What did you think he did? Bite me?"

"Something like that."

"Explain."

"I thought you guys went gay." She blushed. _How embarrassing!_

"Well I'm not."

Sakura stood up and hugged him tightly. "Good. Cause if you were I'd have to beat some sense into you!"

"…"

"So why are you helping Naruto?" She sat in his lap. She looked at Naruto he who is playing wii tennis.

"He's failing PE."

"How the hell do you fail PE?"

"He never turns in his Fitness Chart."

[Fitness Chart- a thing for PE where you write down all the exercise you've done.

"That's retarded."

"Well, the dobe is retarded."

Sakura kissed Sasuke on the lips. He blushed. "Wh-what was that for?"

"Just checking to make sure you really are straight!"

Sakura ran outside. Sasuke chased after her. And if you remember, he still had NO shirt on. They laughed as they ran around with their inhuman ninja speed.

"I guess Naruto was so bad, It made Sasuke straight again." Sai chuckled.

"You know, I always knew they would end up together." Hinata added.

"And how did you find this out oh-ever-so-psychic Hinata?" Tenten and Ino sang.

"Because Sakura-chan is so damn persistent." Hinata cursed smiling.

Neji fainted at her curse. He fell onto Tenten. "Why is it always the Hyuga's that FAINT?" A vein popped on Tenten's head.

Ino hugged Shikamaru, "Aw! Look that is so cute!" She squealed. "How troublesome."

"Hey Hinata!" Naruto called walking out of Sasuke's house.

"Na-Naruto-k-kun?" Hinata stuttered.

"Wanna get some ramen?"

"Su-sure!"

SEE! HAPPY ENDING FOR EVERYONE!

**

* * *

****Major LOLZ Sai is so fun. You can make him say anything and he won't care! Well, yeah. Thank you!**

**The Review Bitch,**

**Blankdreamer**

**V V R E V I E W V V **


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